The doe waits
at the cusp of
the forest,
where dry grass
meets bare branch,
where sun slips
into shadow.
She watches us,
thoughtful and
patient. Perhaps
she is soothed
by the hum
of idling motor,
perhaps curious.
Who knows what
does might wonder?
With two light steps
she disappears
into the darkness
of forest, where
her trunk blends
with the trunks
of pine, her long
limbs mingle
with limbs of trees.
I can see where
she might be, but
not where she is.
In this moment,
I appreciate the art
of camouflage,
the ability to
elude danger
by crafting the
illusion of stillness,
to protect yourself
by lingering,
thoughtful and
patient, obscured
by words that cross
each other like
twisting branches
in the darkness
of forest.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
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1 comment:
i lovelovelove "i can see where she might be, but not where she is" - that's a wonderful line, with the sustained sounds of the long "e" clipped off by the short "i" at the end.
the last stanza, too, is fantastic, though (you knew there would be a "though") i would economize the sentences more, for lyricism and mystery's sake. :) in fact, along the same lines, here's what i would do with the first two stanzas :
"The doe waits
at the cusp of forest,
where grass meets branch
and sun slips to shadow.
She watches us
in patient thought,
soothed perhaps
by idle motor's hum, or
curious : Who knows
the wondering of does?"
just a suggestion, of course. if you reorganize your syllables a bit (and again, please forgive my taking such liberties with your elegant lines), even the line-breaks, you can turn a good nature poem into a really wonderful meditation on the whole issue of hiding, safety, camouflage, protection, appreciation, beauty … etc. all the good themes. ;)
as it is this is a marvelous poem that made me dream a bit about that particular shade of darkening green where you're no longer sure what you've seen, deer or soul. a gift.
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