Scientist or English Major?

Part 1: A Basic Science Lesson

For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed lying flat on my back while tossing a ball up and down and up and down and so on. There are plenty of variations on the theme, such as "Trying Not to Hit the Ceiling But Getting Really Close" or "Letting the Ball Get as Close to Your Face as Possible Without Breaking Your Nose." I've even mastered the art of "Juggling While Flat on Your Back."

Lately there's a new variation: "Toss a Ball Up and Down While Your Daughter Lies on Her Back on Your Belly." It's the giggliest variation yet! Today while I was tossing a bean bag with Wrig on my belly, we had the following discussion about gravity:

D: That's interesting. Every time I throw it in the air it comes back down. Why doesn't it just stay in the air?
W: Because it's not a lamp. (subtext: Duh)
D: Do you think if it were a lamp, it would stay in the air.
W: Yeah.
D: (Puzzled, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt) Why do you think lamps would stay in the air?
W: (A pause. This question is harder) Because ... they are sticky!
D: Lamps are sticky?
W: Yes!
D: Can you show me any sticky lamps?

And without hesitation, little Miss Newton points to the light fixtures on the ceiling of our living room, hanging in the air because, unlike beanbags, lamps are sticky!

Part 2: Grammar for Dummies

Back when I was still at DU, I took a road trip to Vegas with a long lost buddy of mine. During the trip he played a really cool song that I have never gotten out of my head. I never knew the artist or the title, but I can't get the chorus out of my head: My gal is red hot/ Your gal ain't doodly squat!

I have taught Wrig many horribly inappropriate songs to sing (Violent Femmes, anyone?), so I figured it was time to work on a new one.

D: Okay, I say "My gal is red hot" and you say, "Your gal ain't doodly squat." Okay?
W: My gal is ...
D: No that's my part. I say "My gal is red hot" and you say ...
W: ...
D: "Your gal ..."
W: "is squat!"
D: Good! "Your gal ain't doodly squat." Try it.
W: "Your gal is ... squat."
D: Doodly squat.
W: Dooooodly squat!
D: Right on. Now do the whole thing: "Your gal ain't doodly squat."
W: "Your gal ain't doodly squat."
D: Okay, here we go: "My gal is red hot ..."
W: "Your gal ... isn't doodly squat."

I think she spends too much time at the library, that's what I think.