Culture Shock

We're home! Here are my observations about three weeks in a foreign culture ...

1. They say that, in high altitude, it is important to “stay hydrated.” In Colorado, all you do is drink water (hydrate) and pee (dehydrate). With an adequate supply of Aquafina and a couple of cookies, there would be no reason to leave the bathroom.
2. In Colorado, people throw away glass. Right into the garbage. Pop cans, too. It’s painful for an Oregonian. It’s like watching people throw money into the sewer.
3. In Colorado, it actually rains. Big, cold drops that will get your skin wet right through your clothes. The rain is accompanied by glorious blasts of lightning (one night, it looked like somebody was taking flash photographs outside) and cracks of thunder. People in Colorado actually ask "Do you think it's gonna rain?" before deciding whether or not an activity is worth doing.
4. Every single place in Breckenridge has an incredible view. Fast food joints. Parking lots. Bathrooms.
5. Why does my $.99 pop cost $1.07? Oh yeah. Sales tax. On everything. Bottled water. Video rentals. Bottled water. Diapers. Bottled water. Jars of sesame seeds.
6. At 10,000 feet, the air is so thin, climbing a flight of stairs is as breathtaking as climbing a mountain. I can’t imagine how people manage to climb mountains up here.
7. I miss my bathrobe. I know this has nothing to do with the culture of Colorado, but it has a lot to do with the culture of me, and keeping my culture warm in the morning, and I’m never taking a vacation without it again.
8. In the state of Colorado, there are 14 kerjillion pine trees, and not a single inch of shaded hiking trail.
9. In Oregon, you can buy organic whole wheat flour, spelt flour, quinoa flour, and a whole mess of other exotic crushed grains. In Colorado, your pantry is stocked with “Hungarian High Altitude Flour.” Huh?
10. Even the bears know that Thursday is trash day.
11. I’ve seen motorcyclists without helmets. I think it’s been a decade since I’ve seen a motorcyclist without a helmet. Fortunately, in Colorado, the roads are immaculately maintained and pothole free.
12. You can’t throw a stick around here without finding a magnificent place to hike. Most likely, that stick will be fetched by a friendly, slobbery dog. I like it. It kind of reminds me of home.